Tag: empathy

A #DaveBurgessShow Guest

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m excited and grateful to share that Wednesday I had the honor of connecting with the Pirate himself, Dave Burgess, and being a guest on his podcast, the Dave Burgess Show.

For almost a decade, I have been following Dave’s journey on Twitter, from the time his first book, Teach Like A Pirate, went viral until now, when he has published education titles too many to count. My all-time favorite challenge of his over the years is this:

Ten years a fan, so you can imagine how excited I was to connect via Zoom this week to talk about all things Birdie & Mipps, Mr. Quigley’s Keys, and being connectors on social media. After our chat, Dave posted this affirmation on Facebook and Insta:

Sigh. Be still my fan-girl heart.

So, what did we talk about besides my books? Reflection listening! Here’s a peek at my slide deck from that PALs session I got to lead on Tuesday.

At the risk of sounding corny, I’d just come back from harvesting season on the family farm, so yeah, I used two ears of corn to create intrigue.

It was so interesting to hear the teens share their ideas of the difference between the listening and hearing; I love this wisdom from Simon Sinek.

After a few role plays, we talked through these empathy reflections.

They each chose a few little antique keys to remember these key connecting statements.

Have a listen to podcast episode 61 to hEAR how I engaged them in that lesson. Could I have sold tickets to it? Not sure, but I left there with a spring in my step, for sure.

Happy harvesting, dear reader. 🌽🌽

Birdie & Mipps’ Mom

Barbara Gruener

Our beautiful mom, Marilyn, died peacefully last Sunday after a five-year battle with dementia. She would have turned 87 next month.

The quintessential, modern-day Florence Nightingale, our mom served as a nurse in our community for 25 years during her younger years, first in the newborn nursery, then in hospice. We heard so many times how tenderly she’d given this baby its first bath, how patiently she’d pierced this girl’s ears, how compassionately she’d held that man’s hand through his passing and how lovingly she’d comforted the bereaved family.

She had five of her own children and seven foster children over the years, so our dinner table was always filled to capacity. The most beautiful thing happened the day after she died: One of our foster sisters from some 60 years ago actually reached out to offer to help pay for mom’s funeral expenses. How long do connection, compassion and kindness last? Sometimes a lifetime.

I was in the air, flying home to hold her hand and say goodbye, when she took her last breath. I like to think that I felt her essence as we hovered over the clouds and I’m pretty sure I got a soul hug from her on her way to her heavenly home.

You can read her obituary {here}; I was honored to have just written my mother-in-law’s obituary in August and I hope not to have to write another one for a while.

I found this treasure in her things while we were cleaning out her room; I remember it well because it was our first time to stay in a hotel, in Janesville, WI, because Dad and Mom were Easter Seals Ambassadors and we all went to their annual convention that year.

We will miss Mom like crazy, but we are grateful that she’s no longer feeling so lost and confused. Here’s a precious snapshot from July, when I got to read our story to her.

So I’ve spent the week in the farmhouse where she raised me, in the bedroom where she’d tuck me in at night. It’s very therapeutic as I relax and reflect.

This morning, I got the gift of this Midwest Book Review in my inbox. It’s from Suzie Housley, a thirty-year reviewer, who told me she found the cover inviting and the story excellent. And I’m grateful.

Have you read Birdie & Mipps yet? If so, what was your favorite part?

That Joyful-Gasp Feeling

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m excited about and grateful for thoughtful friends.

Just last week, I got a text from my friend, the amazing Sarah Flier, school counselor extraordinaire up in Wisconsin. This past May, she invited me to visit their school for their Young Authors’ Day celebration and she was kind enough to not only kick off her school year by reading Birdie & Mipps, but also follow-up with these kind words:

The gasp and “You got her new book?!?!!!!!!” from each class was so sweet – from 1st graders all the way to 5th! They loved it and our conversation about nicknames and respecting each other was especially sweet.

The gasp. I know it well and it’s something that I miss now that I’m not in the schools as much anymore. But I can still hear it. And I can still feel it. And it still makes my heart happy.

Another thing that makes my heart happy is getting priority mail in my mailbox.

And this particular care package has serendipity written all over it. It’s from my friend and superstar counselor, Tanya Kirschman, up in Montana. She was out shopping the other day when these earrings with a cardinal on them chirped at her. No seriously, that’s what she said. They called her by name and she simply had to get them for me. When she texted to inquire whether I wear earrings, and I said that my ears are no longer pierced, she invited her daughter Hope to upcycle the jewelry into something useful for me. Without knowing that we recently traded in our old, 2008 van for a sporty new Subaru, Hope fashioned those earrings into this keychain and a rear-view mirror chain. Opening that special delivery made my soul sing.

And if that wasn’t enough serendipity, here’s another gasp-worthy story. When we were cleaning out my mother-in-law’s office to get her house ready to sell, I found her hardcover copy of Mr. Quigley’s Keys, complete with her notes from when she read it to her sorority sisters last summer. I decided it would become my travel copy, so that a part of her would be with me at author visit, which freed up my former travel copy, in the event someone would need one. Sure enough, not even a week later, yet another incredible school counselor, Lauren Boyher, from San Antonio, sent a text to say she was planning an empathy lesson and wanted to know where the best place to buy a copy of Keys would be. As luck would have it …

… I just happen to have a “pay it forward” copy that I can add to tomorrow’s shipment. Isn’t is fun when serendipitous happy accidents find you?

Finally, this five-star review on Amazon feels positively affirming; thank you, Carol, for your thoughtful endorsement of Birdie & Mipps.

Your kind feedback gives me that joyful-gasp feeling.

When LOVE Is The Answer

Barbara Gruener

It’s THAT time again – #B2S – my favorite hashtag: Back To School!

And even though I’m not back to a specific school myself per se, I’m so excited about my upcoming author visits! In fact, yesterday I got to take this book and a little cardinal to my favorite empathy hero, one of the school counselors that I’ve been mentoring for years. What a blissful moment in time, to get a tour of her character building and 30 minutes of her time and attention. Talk about love; be still my retired-counselor heart.

I’m also grateful for this podcast episode with Craig Shapiro, a seasoned Wellness Coach in PA.

Buckle up because it’s a looooooong conversation. Might take two or three commutes if you’ve got in on your car radio. Or it’ll be a very long walk to listen from start to finish. But wow, we covered a lot of terrain and I think it’ll be worth your while. His most beautiful affirmation?

“The power of what you just said, is not what you just said … it’s how you said it.” Sigh.

I was blessed by of one of those love glimmers this week, with my son Joshua, who has been in between jobs for some time now. He’s going back to work Monday, so how does he decide to spend his second-to-the-last-day of free time? He asked for a lesson on making cinnamon rolls by scratch.

It made this Mama’s baker heart so happy. And guess what? It made me want to share the magic, so I sent some home with him, then shared a few with friends. More kindness from the kitchen, and who doesn’t LOVE this warm, home-baked deliciousness?

Doesn’t this decadence smell like love?

Here’s to being a walking and/or singing love letter and remembering that love is {almost} always the answer. Do let me know if you want to set up an author visit for your school and read-aloud of Mr. Quigley’s Keys or Birdie & Mipps.

Seed Money

Barbara Gruener

It’s no secret that I think about my little brother Mipps a lot, but August finds me especially melancholy because it marks the anniversary of the saddest day of our lives, the day he died.

Today, I’m thinking back 13 years, to a conversation I had with him at our pool when he came for a visit. I blogged the entire account back in 2011 {here}. Here’s a portion of the letter that came in the mail a few weeks later.

Seed money. Hmmmm. I’d not heard that term before, but I liked the idea behind it, to help put some skin in the game, if you will. Jacob did end up matching his FUNcle’s funds and ended up having a great time in Germany.

So I’ve decided that I’m starting a Seed-Money Scholarship with the proceeds from our book. In fact, I’ve already chosen our first recipient, an incoming senior in high school whose passion is infectious, whose work ethic is inspiring, and who shows up positively vivacious, wherever she goes. Simply put, she reminds me of Mipps.

So here’s how it’s going to work. I sent the first installment to her via Venmo today. When she works to earn a matching amount, I will send her the next installment. It’s that easy! If book sales don’t keep up, no worries; she’ll still receive her full scholarship.

I cannot wait to see the fruits of our investment in this compassionate, driven world-changer.

Oh, and, for fun as I work to keep sadness at bay, I recorded a read-aloud of the book, so you, dear reader, could hear it aloud how I heard it in my head when I was writing it.

Happy reading!

My Little Mippers

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m excited about Mr. Quigley’s Keys making its way to Nicaragua; here’s a picture of my Aunt Karen reading the Spanish version to these engaged and eager learners. My little Mippers would absolutely LOVE this, were he here to experience the magic.

It’s bringing up memories of Mipps and the myriad Nicaragua visits he made over the years, to build homes and help better their lives. He wrote about those experiences {here}.

Mark (Mipps) grew up the last of five children to a farming family in Wayside, WI. I was seven when he arrived on the scene to complete and forever change the face of our family. He was a doll baby and my sister, Debra, and I had fun helping mom and dad raise him. Here we are in 1972 or so, the year that Dad won Outstanding Young Farmer for our state, in a professional shot in a frame dad handcrafted from old barn wood.

About that time, a team from PBS reached out to see if we would let them film a segment for the increasingly popular television show, Wisconsin Our Home. Dad agreed and our adorable little Mippers stole the show; isn’t he precious?

Like me, Mipps took pride in showing his cattle at the Brown County Fair. Aren’t those white show pants such a fresh and polished look? He loved being around animals, big and small.

It was kind of a running joke in Nicaragua that he didn’t really go there to build houses so much as to talk with the people and play with the puppies, the kittens and the kids.

His absence has left a huge hole in our hearts; what a gift to be able to share tidbits from time to time from the legacy of connection and love that he left in and for us.

Oh, and I’m pretty excited to share that his home-building friends from the volunteer squad are starting an English program down in Nicaragua in Mark’s name in the very near future. Sigh.

“This Treasured Tribute”

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m feeing grateful and honored by this heartfelt feedback from a passionate author, educator, and friend up in Canada whom I adore and admire so much.

Here’s a peek at the resource pages she’s referencing.

Not only did Mrs. Mac post these kind words of affirmation on Facebook, but her beautiful 4th-grade daughter also served on our First-Look Focus Team.

Here’s what Sadie had to say about our passion project: This book helped me to see that we all have precious names that deserve to be honoured and that it is ok to tell someone if you don’t want to be called by a nickname even though it is one your family might use. I like when my family calls me Sadie Pie but not when people that don’t know me do, just like Mipps.

Perfection! What are you grateful for today?

Enriching Birdie & Mipps

Barbara Gruener

Mom’s first question when she met her great granddaughter was “What’s her name?“

Her name is Leah Odette, but for now, she’s also affectionately known by the nicknames Nugget, Nuggs, Sweet Pea, Cutie Pie, Leah Bean and Leah Bear. It’s not likely that those will stick as she ages and it is likely that she’ll have an opinion about which nicknames, if any, she’d like for us to use, a topic that Birdie & Mipps tackles by talking our readers through self-advocacy, kindness and respect.

Sesame Street also has a few clips that address the importance of names {The Name Song, Your Name Is Very Important, and Our Names Are Special} that you can share before or after your Birdie & Mipps read-aloud, to enrich your discussion.

Use these clips to cultivate self-awareness and caring connections as your learners share how their parents/caregivers chose their names, what their nickname (if they have one) is, and what name, if any, they really like or wish they had. Invite them to create a bumper sticker, T-shirt logo, or PSA showcasing their name and what it symbolizes to them and what they want it to stand for or mean to the world.

Then compare and contrast these titles around this timeless topic.

For other ideas, check out the enrichment pages in the back of our book.

Be creative and enJOY the synergy as you step into and get acquainted with one another’s stories.

Together Is My Favorite Place

Barbara Gruener

After a long day of travel yesterday, I’m back home and reflecting on an incredible journey home. First up, a visit to my mom, to read Birdie & Mipps to her. Since she’s battling dementia, I wasn’t sure how it would go and as I reflect, I deeply felt the depth and width of her words: I don’t know why but this is making me feel really sad.

I explained to her that it was really sad, that Mipps is her little boy, and that he’d died a few years ago, but that it was also happy because a part of his story is now in our book, and that’s when she said, “Well, I’d really like to have a book like this.” Sigh.

And in that moment, I realized how important it was to always carry an extra copy.

Next up, off to visit my Aunt Elaine, who just turned 91. Since our youngest son, Joshua, and his wife, Ariana, were with us, I asked them to read the book aloud in the roles of Birdie & Mipps.

Here’s a snippet of them reading one of my favorite pages. What’s your favorite page?

Then, my mom got to meet her great granddaughter, a precious moment indeed.

What joy fills my heart to be together in this four-generation picture.

And finally, the reason for our trek home: To gather for Tanner and Callie’s big day. So blessed to stand with Tanner’s other two Godmothers in this shot.

Mipps was represented at the memorial table; Tanner wrote such a beautiful tribute.

In our family picture, Jacob is wearing Mipps’ jacket and one of his ties; Joshua is sporting one of his ties as well. Our Dad made this beautiful cross centerpiece for the wedding ceremony.

Together truly is my favorite place to be.

Mom’s Choice Gold Award

Barbara Gruener

So yesterday, in the midst of hurricane Beryl’s fierce and frightening fury on our town, this great news popped into my inbox …

… that Birdie & Mipps has earned a Mom’s Choice Gold Award.

We are SO very grateful to the committee of decision-makers at MCA for honoring us with this distinction. Happy July, dear reader; thank you for celebrating this milestone marker with us!