Tag: empathy

Say “KEYS!”

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful for the many recent opportunities I’ve had to share that empathy, compassion and kindness are KEY; my most recent visit found me coming home to Westwood Elementary, where I was a school counselor for 14 years. Book? Check. Ukulele? Yep! Puppet? Got him. Antique key ring and large kindness key? Ready to unlock the magic.

So I got to lead ten 30-minute sessions and I left there exhausted but exhilarated.

What fun to teach them about empathy, sing with them, read to them and laugh with them as we discovered all about Mr. Quigley and the story of his keys to connection, then leave them with a kindness key and a challenge for them to unlock hearts, their imaginations, the future.

When I posted online that I was putting yarn onto the kindness keys for our preK kiddos, the mom of one of the 5th graders that I subbed for reached out with the kindest offer; she asked if she and her family could sponsor the keys for my next few growth sessions. I sent her a link sharing what I typically purchase and voila, by Friday morning, sweet Cecily was delivering 1K keys for my upcoming visits in this beautiful blue Mustang bag. Be still my beating heart.

Isn’t that the most thoughtful thing? Turns out that we go way back, because I was her brother’s school counselor 8 years ago when her family first came to town. You just never know when a kindness shared will boomerang its way back to you.

Do a kind act; it’ll boomerang back! Give kind, get kind, just like that.

I also got to visit this sweet class virtually in Clifton, TX recently; they had some amazing questions for me as they were digging into author’s purpose, illustrator’s purpose, literary elements, editing and more. I reminded them that an author’s work might have a due date, but it’s actually never done because we can always make it better and I encouraged them to hoard words like a coin collector treasures his/her coins, something my 8th grade teacher taught me that I’ve never forgotten.

Finally, I got to spend some time encouraging and loving on some mentors in a neighboring town, super fun for me because I reconnected with Keri, the teacher whom I actually started my Character Counts! journey with back in the year 2000.

I will always cherish the connection we had and the opportunities that came our way to present the six pillars of charACTer together. She is a spark plug of compassion, joy and hope.

I’ll leave you with this footprint: The writing’s on the wall in the Westwood cafeteria in the shape of a shoe; this visual display just begged me to teach the learners this little ditty about empathy. Try it with a snap, pat, clap rhythm or use the motions to the hand-jive song. Invite them to jazz it up or rock it out to seal the deal on just how important it is that we make walking in someone else’s shoes a daily ritual until it becomes a life-long habit.

Happy November, dear reader.

Something So Magical

Barbara Gruener

What a delightful trip home, to take in some Fall foliage and spend some quality time with family. While there, I was blessed by three opportunities to share my book and make some new friends. The first visit was to these two incredible young learners who are homeschooled.

Their favorite takeaways were the antique key necklaces we made, searching for the camouflaged keys throughout the book, and finding someone in Ms. Pittman’s class that looks like them.

They stole my heart as I got to sign, sing, and search with them. In the end, my second-grade friend even made a treasure map for me, complete with a key, of course, to find a special treasure chest hidden in his garage. Don’t you love extension activities?

Then it was off to Racine, WI, for a vist at both schools where my incredibly thoughtful friend Trish is the amazing school counselor.

Our friend Julia joined us and shared this beautiful reflection later that afternoon.

Look at how heartwarming this is, the Principal at Red Apple Elementary handing out keys to his kids. I love how he let them decide which key fit them.

I feel so blessed to have visited these two beautiful school families and shared our story. It happened to be World Smile Day, so I also got to challenge a few friends to a smile off. It was a fun way for a student to win a signed copy of our book for one of their teachers. Then it was time to head to the family farm, where I captured Autumn in all of its splendor.

We picked up my mom so she could go along on the third author visit.

She really appreciated how beautiful it was outside. The trees were so vibrant and the weather was absolutely perfect for this visit to a parochial grade school like the one I attended during my formative years.

It was extra-special because my invitation came from a 5th-grade student, a nephew of my brother on his wife’s side.

What joy to watch young leaders take the initiative and make something so magical happen.

Happy October, dear reader; I pray many KEY cotton-candy sunsets, like this one that I captured over our family farm, on the horizon for you as we head toward the most wonderful time of the year.

Distracted By A Connection

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful because I got to be a guest teacher on day 3 of school so that my friend Melissa could take her son Jacob off to college without a worry. She asked what read-aloud I’d like to use during Morning Meeting time and I pitched this idea: I would read my book and bring a key for each of her students, to remind them that they hold the key to compassion and kindness, which will unlock doors for them.

But here’s the twist: I decided not to tell them that I was the author. Instead, I shared that if they went to Bales Intermediate last year, then they know the illustrator because she was their art teacher. And, if they were at Windsong, then they know the mom of the illustrator because she was their art teacher. They were SO distracted by that connection that they totally missed who the author was.

One boy did ask how did I read the book without looking at the words? I told him that I’ve read it so much that I totally have it memorized. Ok, maybe he was on to me.

Anyway, if I could bottle the gasp of excitement that I heard when they figured out that Mr. Quigley was a real guy and that I actually knew it … and then that I actually wrote the story? Sigh. Be still my beating heart.

They all got a KEYpsake to either put in their pockets or on a string, to remember our time together.

And then, this beautiful feedback on Facebook.

Am I not just the luckiest author and guest teacher ever? Happy new {school} year!

Our Book’s 2nd Birthday

Barbara Gruener

Our picture book, Mr. Quigley’s Keys, turned two on June 1st, so my beautiful mother-in-law took her copy to her social sorority for a read-aloud with her sisters.

Doesn’t it look incredible in her hands? At 88, Ruby has suffered a lot of losses, both of her sisters, many of her friends, even a son, and yet she’s still out and about, serving others and mobilizing compassion. When she told me of her plans to share our story at their monthly meeting, I offered to send along an antique key for each of them, to remind them that they hold the key to empathy, compassion and kindness, and to encourage them to KEYp on telling their stories, because they have much to teach us about connections, life and love.

I’ve been thinking a lot about LOVE lately, about what it means not only to love, but to BE love. I came up with this acrostic for the #leadlap Twitter chat I led this past Saturday:

If you put LOVE into an acrostic, which four words would you choose?

And how do you make sure to love yourself well enough that you have something left to give to others? What does that look like? Sound like? Feel like?

I always have more questions than answers when I get to thinking, but I think if I’ve written a book that addresses love, then I’d best keep reflecting on what love means and how it becomes us.

Here are the other questions, in case you want to ponder with me.

So while I work on BEing LOVE, happy summertime, dear reader.

What’s YOUR favorite song about love?

Family Literacy Night

Barbara Gruener

Today I woke up with a happy heart because of a Family Literacy Night I got to participate in last night. Here’s how our evening began, with a student-drawn sign reserving a parking spot outside of the Family Center, where we’d enjoy dinner with the volunteers before the inaugural event started. It totally made the Friday afternoon traffic jam we had endured to get across town worth it; SO thoughtful.

After a yummy dinner, I set up my author table, then headed into the Sanctuary, where I got a a few minutes with the students and their families for a pep talk, Listen Up: Character Speaks!. It focused on using our five senses to listen to, connect with, show empathy for, and love people. ALL people. I found a brave first-grade friend to join me in front and offered her a gift bag, asking her before opening it to describe how it looks, what it sounds like, how the flowers on the bag might smell, how the package feels. Then I asked if she wanted to open it or leave it wrapped, and how she’d feel if it were empty. After she answered my questions to pique the curiosity of the crowd, she opened the bag to find a key, which she told us would be useful for opening doors.

I reminded her that we all hold the key to kindness, and that her empathy and compassion will always unlock doors. She helped me teach the Empathy Switch before she sat back down with her dad.

We then talked about how every day is a gift and that each day we can choose to open it or leave it wrapped up. And how every choice we makes gives us another opportunity to grow physically, emotionally and spiritually so that we’re our healthiest selves to serve others, head, heart, and hands.

After a first-grade class recited three adorable poems for Poetry Month, two more authors spoke and my friend Margaret, who organized the entire event, shared with participants how they can get a library card to keep sharpening their reading skills even over the summertime months, it was time to return to and reconnect in the Commons.

We were accompanied there by our 8th-grade Ambassadors for snacks and an expo-type setting with tables that the families could swing by, learn more, and maybe even get a memento, like these antique keys. I loved sitting next to Ianna and learning all about about her as I answered participants’ questions about being an author and encouraged the kids to keep on writing.

My favorite moment was probably with Ella, whose smile was like sunshine for my soul. I asked her how it was that we connected in that big crowd and she said it was because she loved and agreed with what I was saying about kindness and keys and that even though she didn’t totally understand everything I was saying, she thought that it was really special and nice. She came by my table three times, each time with a smile bigger than before, the last time for a huge hug.

I even got to sign a Spanish version of our book for a student from Mexico, the cherry to top off this sweet event. If a Family Night like this is in your plans for the next school year, please keep me in mind; I’d love to be a part of it.

Unexpected Abundance

Barbara Gruener

Happy holidays from my heart to yours; I hope you’re enJOYing lots of connection and fun during your winter break and year-end festivities. Our flights home were cancelled, so we decided to head to the Houston Zoo, where we saw three of our keys to connection hanging on this tree-mendous spreading oak.

When I mentioned to my friend that our plans were derailed, she asked, “What will you do with your unexpected abundance of time?” And that’s when I knew that abundance was a word I wanted to explore more this year. Not of the tangible so much as of the intangible. And I can’t wait to see where this word takes me in 2023.

I feel abundance every time I get to do author visits, whether in-person or virtual, that’s for sure. I was blessed with several dozen of them this year and plan to continue them into the new year. It’s so much fun to make friends with budding authors (like these learners in OH) and to imprint on their hearts that kindness is KEY.

I even got to return to Whitcomb Elementary, to my giraffe family, where I was serving as an SEL specialist in 2020 when the pandemic kept us all home after spring break. My favorite second-grade friend, now in 5th, teared up as he wrapped me up in a genuine bear hug and asked where I went. His second question was whether I put him in my book. I handed him the book and asked him if he saw himself in that class and, sure enough, he did! Abundance all around. I saw him again the next day and it made my heart happy to hear him say, “I can’t believe you put me in your book.” Don’t you love their magical thinking?

A few stories that tugged at my heartstrings this month include The Kindness Of A Stranger, Good Samaritans in Buffalo, and A Decade of Giving, and A Lifetime Of Service, proof that kindness is LOVE with snow boots on.

Happy 2023 dear reader; I pray that you find health, hygge, happiness, hope and a touch of unexpected abundance of whatever your heart and soul crave. There’s only one you, so take good care!

The Right Key

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful for so many things, but first let me start with this story. A few years ago, while Mr. Quigley’s Keys was still in the editing stages, my Dad and I were visiting his cousin Ronnie. An entertaining storyteller, Ron was showing us that his curio cabinet got locked during their move and that he couldn’t open it now because they didn’t have the key. So he got on Amazon and bought a hundred or so antique skeleton keys to see if one of them would do the trick. No such luck, he told us, so I asked him what he was going to do with all of those keys.

He asked if I wanted to buy them, and I chuckled before mentioning that I was writing a book about about keys and that his story and those keys had intrigued me. At church that next morning, he brought me a baggie of about fifty of these tiny treasures and said that he was still searching for the right key to unlock that cabinet. As an aside, he mentioned that, since his last name is Kiekhaefer, his nickname was KieKie in his younger days.

Since that serendipitous encounter, I have purchased thousands of these keys because I take them with me to speaking engagements and keep them handy for impromptu book readings or signings. The other day, my auto mechanic asked if I’d be willing to sign the book for his daughter while I waited for my car horn repair, so I put together a little ring of keys for her and headed over to Friendswood Auto.

This pre-K reader was so excited to get a key ring of her own. Not only did I get to sign her book but we also spelled her name and phone number in ASL before my car was ready to go. Oh, and as an act of kindness, there was no charge for the repairs that day, two reasons why I left the shop that day with an extra spring in my step.

Earlier this week, I got to visit my Ross Elementary school family and sign books for their passionate educators during Character Week. Such a gift, to reconnect with my Roadrunners and sit with them for a spell.

This week I get to do back-to-back author visits on Tuesday and Wednesday, then I get to lead a parenting night in partnership with the Alliance on Thursday night. We’re going to discuss how Empathy, Compassion and Kindness are KEY to connecting by HEART and I can’t wait!

Then on the 16th, I’ll be facilitating our #TXCharacterWeek Twitter Chat.

Won’t you join us? I’m grateful for you, dear reader; happy November.

My Mr. Quigley

Barbara Gruener

Happy July; for those of you on summer break, how’s it going?

Photo posted with permission from Brienne Marie.

Today as I reflect on June, I’m thinking about all of the people I’m meeting who are somebody’s Mr. Quigley, like Jesse, from Howard Elementary in the Green Bay area. Fourth-grade teacher Brienne, pictured above with him, confirmed what I felt when we met: He loves our littles so well and they all adore him!

Wanna hear a cool coincidence? Jesse shares the same last name with Fred, the hero handyman at Westwood and Bales where I worked for seventeen years! Fred took such amazing care of us; I think about him all the time and miss him every day.

Anyway, we actually dedicated our book to these kind and compassionate humans.

Our lives are better because of people like Mr. Quigley, unsung heroes who show up and support us through the good and the bad, who care for the needs of others before their own, who serve with a smile. Sometimes they’re even veterans, who sacrifice so much for us, just like Don Pittman, the real Mr. Quigley. Here he is at the age of 19, when he served as a sailor in the Korean War. Didn’t our illustrator do an amazing job on that portrait of him on my favorite page?

Maybe your Mr. Quigley doesn’t work at your school. After reading our story aloud to her fifth-grade friends, Barbie Monty, an incredible educator and friend in Florida, invited them to write about that special Mr. Quigley in their lives; prepare to be wowed by their insightful reflections about a neighbor, a teacher, a mom, a dad, and a friend!

Thank you, Barbie, for giving us this gorgeous glimpse into the hearts of McKenna, Anvi, Violet, Evan, Saisha and Audrey; I appreciate how you encouraged them to make connections and share what endears these key people to them and how they positively impact their lives. Your passionate influence shines through their work.

Who is YOUR Mr. Quigley? Leave us your answers in the comments.

Her Hand On Mine

Barbara Gruener

Today my soul is still singing from a private reading with a four-year-old birthday girl who my sister knows and loves. I put four keys on a key ring for her and grabbed an extra copy of the book not really sure how well it would go to read a book, written for children in the age group 6-10, to such a young girl. I encouraged her to jingle her keys when she saw Mr. Quigley on a page; at the part about him being deaf, we stopped and shook the keys while holding them tight, to help her understand what his keys sounded like to him. It makes me happy to report that she was with me for the entire book, and I got the BEST feedback when she asked me to read it again.

Hoping to engage her in the author signing, I asked her to help me spell her name. Without skipping a beat, Zoe put her hand on mine, to help me with her name, literally and figuratively. It was a magical moment that I wished could last forever.

This morning I led a growth session, Building Equity By The Book, at the Character Conference in WI; click {here} if you’re interested in seeing those slides.

Inspiring Magical Moments

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful and filled with joy from last week’s school visits in Wisconsin. The week started in Hartland, where I got to read my book and sing with a class of third graders and then two classes of fifth graders. This visit was actually an auction-item donation to support their school building project, time with an author and signed books to the highest bidder. My husband was also there; his donation, a meeting to learn from a planetary scientist from NASA. You could say he’s recruiting, to help keep dreams of space travel alive. My Dad and sister joining us made it extra special.

Our second visit found me at Howard Elementary with a special group of fourth graders in the Green Bay area. To celebrate my book’s birthday, we were greeted with balloons, cookies, flowers and tons of smiles!

It made my soul sing to be able to read the story aloud after sharing its backstory with this school family, connected to us because their teacher, Mrs. Vande Hei, is the sister of my brother Mark’s friend Mike. Sibling love for the win!

While I was talking about their Key Principles, John was sharing all about space down the hall with the third grade team. (Photos courtesy of Howard-Suamico Schools)

We both encouraged them to follow their dreams and pursue their passions, be it writing or science, neither or both. What a joy it was to spend time with that incredible school family; the bonus was meeting their servant-hearted custodian, Jesse, on our way out the door. Then we headed south to Cedarburg, where we walked the streets of that quaint little town and celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary before my third and final school visit. This door to a stationery shop caught my eye and spoke to my spirit.

To say that my day at Westlawn Elementary was magical doesn’t begin to describe the enchanting things that are happening in that school of character.

The morning began with a Character Day assembly; no, Colleen and Stef, not THAT kind of character! There were 300 students in that gym but you seriously could have heard a pin drop as these young leaders respectfully listened, eager to hear what the day would hold for them as they unlocked the magic together.

Since Mr. Quigley’s Keys has served as their “North Star” this year, there was a collective gasp of excitement and joy that I will never forget when they announced that I was there to spend the day with them.

This was my nook for the day as I met all of the students by grade level and shared my story from farmer’s daughter to educator to author, a spot I will forever appreciate because it’s where I got to sing and sign with these beautiful Westlawn Dolphins.

At the end of the day, we presented a copy of the book to their hero custodian, Mrs. Heidi, a role model who is cherished and loved because, in the words of a first grader, “she puts us before herself.”

So many magical moments forever imprinted on my heart; I’m leaving Wisconsin with an extra spring in my step and a more vibrant energy, hope and love in my soul.