Our picture book, Mr. Quigley’s Keys, turned two on June 1st, so my beautiful mother-in-law took her copy to her social sorority for a read-aloud with her sisters.
Doesn’t it look incredible in her hands? At 88, Ruby has suffered a lot of losses, both of her sisters, many of her friends, even a son, and yet she’s still out and about, serving others and mobilizing compassion. When she told me of her plans to share our story at their monthly meeting, I offered to send along an antique key for each of them, to remind them that they hold the key to empathy, compassion and kindness, and to encourage them to KEYp on telling their stories, because they have much to teach us about connections, life and love.
I’ve been thinking a lot about LOVE lately, about what it means not only to love, but to BE love. I came up with this acrostic for the #leadlap Twitter chat I led this past Saturday:
If you put LOVE into an acrostic, which four words would you choose?
And how do you make sure to love yourself well enough that you have something left to give to others? What does that look like? Sound like? Feel like?
I always have more questions than answers when I get to thinking, but I think if I’ve written a book that addresses love, then I’d best keep reflecting on what love means and how it becomes us.
Here are the other questions, in case you want to ponder with me.
So while I work on BEing LOVE, happy summertime, dear reader.
Today I woke up with a happy heart because of a Family Literacy Night I got to participate in last night. Here’s how our evening began, with a student-drawn sign reserving a parking spot outside of the Family Center, where we’d enjoy dinner with the volunteers before the inaugural event started. It totally made the Friday afternoon traffic jam we had endured to get across town worth it; SO thoughtful.
After a yummy dinner, I set up my author table, then headed into the Sanctuary, where I got a a few minutes with the students and their families for a pep talk, Listen Up: Character Speaks!. It focused on using our five senses to listen to, connect with, show empathy for, and love people. ALL people. I found a brave first-grade friend to join me in front and offered her a gift bag, asking her before opening it to describe how it looks, what it sounds like, how the flowers on the bag might smell, how the package feels. Then I asked if she wanted to open it or leave it wrapped, and how she’d feel if it were empty. After she answered my questions to pique the curiosity of the crowd, she opened the bag to find a key, which she told us would be useful for opening doors.
I reminded her that we all hold the key to kindness, and that her empathy and compassion will always unlock doors. She helped me teach the Empathy Switch before she sat back down with her dad.
We then talked about how every day is a gift and that each day we can choose to open it or leave it wrapped up. And how every choice we makes gives us another opportunity to grow physically, emotionally and spiritually so that we’re our healthiest selves to serve others, head, heart, and hands.
After a first-grade class recited three adorable poems for Poetry Month, two more authors spoke and my friend Margaret, who organized the entire event, shared with participants how they can get a library card to keep sharpening their reading skills even over the summertime months, it was time to return to and reconnect in the Commons.
We were accompanied there by our 8th-grade Ambassadors for snacks and an expo-type setting with tables that the families could swing by, learn more, and maybe even get a memento, like these antique keys. I loved sitting next to Ianna and learning all about about her as I answered participants’ questions about being an author and encouraged the kids to keep on writing.
My favorite moment was probably with Ella, whose smile was like sunshine for my soul. I asked her how it was that we connected in that big crowd and she said it was because she loved and agreed with what I was saying about kindness and keys and that even though she didn’t totally understand everything I was saying, she thought that it was really special and nice. She came by my table three times, each time with a smile bigger than before, the last time for a huge hug.
I even got to sign a Spanish version of our book for a student from Mexico, the cherry to top off this sweet event. If a Family Night like this is in your plans for the next school year, please keep me in mind; I’d love to be a part of it.
Happy holidays from my heart to yours; I hope you’re enJOYing lots of connection and fun during your winter break and year-end festivities. Our flights home were cancelled, so we decided to head to the Houston Zoo, where we saw three of our keys to connection hanging on this tree-mendous spreading oak.
When I mentioned to my friend that our plans were derailed, she asked, “What will you do with your unexpected abundance of time?” And that’s when I knew that abundance was a word I wanted to explore more this year. Not of the tangible so much as of the intangible. And I can’t wait to see where this word takes me in 2023.
I feel abundance every time I get to do author visits, whether in-person or virtual, that’s for sure. I was blessed with several dozen of them this year and plan to continue them into the new year. It’s so much fun to make friends with budding authors (like these learners in OH) and to imprint on their hearts that kindness is KEY.
I even got to return to Whitcomb Elementary, to my giraffe family, where I was serving as an SEL specialist in 2020 when the pandemic kept us all home after spring break. My favorite second-grade friend, now in 5th, teared up as he wrapped me up in a genuine bear hug and asked where I went. His second question was whether I put him in my book. I handed him the book and asked him if he saw himself in that class and, sure enough, he did! Abundance all around. I saw him again the next day and it made my heart happy to hear him say, “I can’t believe you put me in your book.” Don’t you love their magical thinking?
Happy 2023 dear reader; I pray that you find health, hygge, happiness, hope and a touch of unexpected abundance of whatever your heart and soul crave. There’s only one you, so take good care!
Today I’m grateful for so many things, but first let me start with this story. A few years ago, while Mr. Quigley’s Keys was still in the editing stages, my Dad and I were visiting his cousin Ronnie. An entertaining storyteller, Ron was showing us that his curio cabinet got locked during their move and that he couldn’t open it now because they didn’t have the key. So he got on Amazon and bought a hundred or so antique skeleton keys to see if one of them would do the trick. No such luck, he told us, so I asked him what he was going to do with all of those keys.
He asked if I wanted to buy them, and I chuckled before mentioning that I was writing a book about about keys and that his story and those keys had intrigued me. At church that next morning, he brought me a baggie of about fifty of these tiny treasures and said that he was still searching for the right key to unlock that cabinet. As an aside, he mentioned that, since his last name is Kiekhaefer, his nickname was KieKie in his younger days.
Since that serendipitous encounter, I have purchased thousands of these keys because I take them with me to speaking engagements and keep them handy for impromptu book readings or signings. The other day, my auto mechanic asked if I’d be willing to sign the book for his daughter while I waited for my car horn repair, so I put together a little ring of keys for her and headed over to Friendswood Auto.
This pre-K reader was so excited to get a key ring of her own. Not only did I get to sign her book but we also spelled her name and phone number in ASL before my car was ready to go. Oh, and as an act of kindness, there was no charge for the repairs that day, two reasons why I left the shop that day with an extra spring in my step.
Earlier this week, I got to visit my Ross Elementary school family and sign books for their passionate educators during Character Week. Such a gift, to reconnect with my Roadrunners and sit with them for a spell.
This week I get to do back-to-back author visits on Tuesday and Wednesday, then I get to lead a parenting night in partnership with the Alliance on Thursday night. We’re going to discuss how Empathy, Compassion and Kindness are KEY to connecting by HEART and I can’t wait!
Then on the 16th, I’ll be facilitating our #TXCharacterWeek Twitter Chat.
Won’t you join us? I’m grateful for you, dear reader; happy November.
Happy July; for those of you on summer break, how’s it going?
Photo posted with permission from Brienne Marie.
Today as I reflect on June, I’m thinking about all of the people I’m meeting who are somebody’s Mr. Quigley, like Jesse, from Howard Elementary in the Green Bay area. Fourth-grade teacher Brienne, pictured above with him, confirmed what I felt when we met: He loves our littles so well and they all adore him!
Wanna hear a cool coincidence? Jesse shares the same last name with Fred, the hero handyman at Westwood and Bales where I worked for seventeen years! Fred took such amazing care of us; I think about him all the time and miss him every day.
Anyway, we actually dedicated our book to these kind and compassionate humans.
Our lives are better because of people like Mr. Quigley, unsung heroes who show up and support us through the good and the bad, who care for the needs of others before their own, who serve with a smile. Sometimes they’re even veterans, who sacrifice so much for us, just like Don Pittman, the real Mr. Quigley. Here he is at the age of 19, when he served as a sailor in the Korean War. Didn’t our illustrator do an amazing job on that portrait of him on my favorite page?
Maybe your Mr. Quigley doesn’t work at your school. After reading our story aloud to her fifth-grade friends, Barbie Monty, an incredible educator and friend in Florida, invited them to write about that special Mr. Quigley in their lives; prepare to be wowed by their insightful reflections about a neighbor, a teacher, a mom, a dad, and a friend!
Thank you, Barbie, for giving us this gorgeous glimpse into the hearts of McKenna, Anvi, Violet, Evan, Saisha and Audrey; I appreciate how you encouraged them to make connections and share what endears these key people to them and how they positively impact their lives. Your passionate influence shines through their work.
Who is YOUR Mr. Quigley? Leave us your answers in the comments.
Today my soul is still singing from a private reading with a four-year-old birthday girl who my sister knows and loves. I put four keys on a key ring for her and grabbed an extra copy of the book not really sure how well it would go to read a book, written for children in the age group 6-10, to such a young girl. I encouraged her to jingle her keys when she saw Mr. Quigley on a page; at the part about him being deaf, we stopped and shook the keys while holding them tight, to help her understand what his keys sounded like to him. It makes me happy to report that she was with me for the entire book, and I got the BEST feedback when she asked me to read it again.
Hoping to engage her in the author signing, I asked her to help me spell her name. Without skipping a beat, Zoe put her hand on mine, to help me with her name, literally and figuratively. It was a magical moment that I wished could last forever.
This morning I led a growth session, Building Equity By The Book, at the Character Conference in WI; click {here} if you’re interested in seeing those slides.
Today I’m grateful and filled with joy from last week’s school visits in Wisconsin. The week started in Hartland, where I got to read my book and sing with a class of third graders and then two classes of fifth graders. This visit was actually an auction-item donation to support their school building project, time with an author and signed books to the highest bidder. My husband was also there; his donation, a meeting to learn from a planetary scientist from NASA. You could say he’s recruiting, to help keep dreams of space travel alive. My Dad and sister joining us made it extra special.
Our second visit found me at Howard Elementary with a special group of fourth graders in the Green Bay area. To celebrate my book’s birthday, we were greeted with balloons, cookies, flowers and tons of smiles!
It made my soul sing to be able to read the story aloud after sharing its backstory with this school family, connected to us because their teacher, Mrs. Vande Hei, is the sister of my brother Mark’s friend Mike. Sibling love for the win!
While I was talking about their Key Principles, John was sharing all about space down the hall with the third grade team. (Photos courtesy of Howard-Suamico Schools)
We both encouraged them to follow their dreams and pursue their passions, be it writing or science, neither or both. What a joy it was to spend time with that incredible school family; the bonus was meeting their servant-hearted custodian, Jesse, on our way out the door. Then we headed south to Cedarburg, where we walked the streets of that quaint little town and celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary before my third and final school visit. This door to a stationery shop caught my eye and spoke to my spirit.
To say that my day at Westlawn Elementary was magical doesn’t begin to describe the enchanting things that are happening in that school of character.
The morning began with a Character Day assembly; no, Colleen and Stef, not THAT kind of character! There were 300 students in that gym but you seriously could have heard a pin drop as these young leaders respectfully listened, eager to hear what the day would hold for them as they unlocked the magic together.
Since Mr. Quigley’s Keys has served as their “North Star” this year, there was a collective gasp of excitement and joy that I will never forget when they announced that I was there to spend the day with them.
This was my nook for the day as I met all of the students by grade level and shared my story from farmer’s daughter to educator to author, a spot I will forever appreciate because it’s where I got to sing and sign with these beautiful Westlawn Dolphins.
At the end of the day, we presented a copy of the book to their hero custodian, Mrs. Heidi, a role model who is cherished and loved because, in the words of a first grader, “she puts us before herself.”
So many magical moments forever imprinted on my heart; I’m leaving Wisconsin with an extra spring in my step and a more vibrant energy, hope and love in my soul.
Right now, I’m feeling grateful to have been invited to visit with Nicole on The Kindness Podcast today at noon, perfectly timed to coincide with the Mr. Quigley’s Keys softcover release in Spanish this week.
Tune in today and you’ll see why Nicole’s podcast was named one of Oprah’s Top Five Happiness Podcasts; her questions were so thoughtful and her enthusiasm was contagious. Oh, and she was super easy and fun to talk to. Thank you, Nicole, for planting seeds of kindness wherever you go and for letting me share my essence, my purpose, and my story with your audience of kindness crusaders.
This special delivery from a 4th-grade reader brought me to tears.
It was an update, about how the class is doing putting their KEY Principle into action, giving it wings, if you will. His KEY is empathy. What this empathy hero’s teacher might not know is that her thoughtfulness was perfectly timed, because this treasure came in the mail just as I was about to celebrate my first Easter without my brother Mark. My spirit needed a booster shot of connection, hope and love, and her empathy winged its way from my home state to deep in the heart of Texas at exactly the right moment. It’s empathy that gives kindness its why; I wrote about it {here}, along with some empathy integration ideas, in case you’ve been looking.
From time to time, our book gets a Twitter shout out; so thankful for this one from Florida. I love that the story whets their appetites for learning ASL.
Our hardcover in the Spanish language has arrived; check it out on Amazon {here}.
I’ll leave you with that beautiful smile, which says more about our joy than my words ever could. Happy springtime.
Click the image for a download of this key template.
I’m always honored, excited and grateful to discover how schools around the world are using Mr. Quigley’s Keys to inspire and influence; one of the most recent projects shared with me comes from Lincoln Elementary in the state of Washington. Click {here} to watch their beautiful work of HEART unfold. My soul is singing that a seed our story planted has germinated and blossomed into this incredible school-wide project which this family of CAN-DOER Bull Pups is using to help them hurdle over some upcoming challenges and changes.
As I was creating this template, it occurred to me that you could teach your learners about symmetry so that they can create their own keyhole instead of using mine.
Directions: Fold a piece of paper in half lengthwise and draw a half circle and a slanted line; it’ll end up looking a bit like a capital R. Cut along the lines, open it up and find your very own, individualized keyhole template.
Write or illustrate the world you see through the keyhole when we use our keys to connection to encourage, support, love on and serve one another. Or let your artists create the prompt by asking them what they are looking for through their keyhole.
What do YOU see when you peek through the keyhole of hope and possibilities?
Barbara Gruener 