Tag: key

Giving Empa-KEYS

Barbara Gruener

This evening, I spent time stringing 40 vintage keys for the first-grade classes on my next author visit.

During my 40-minute visit, we’ll discuss empathy, one of the themes in Birdie & Mipps, and I’ll point out that empathy is key to connecting with someone by heart. I’ll refer to the key I’ll be wearing as my key reminder, which I also use to illustrate how authors play with words and sometimes even make new words, like calling my necklace an empa-KEY. They giggle and then get so excited to know that I’ve brought one for each of them, all different in shape and size, just like us. So fun, just like this comic that my friend Liz sent my way this week.

In the book, I mention that when mom calls me Barb-a-ra-Suz-anne, that likely means that she’s angry or frustrated with me, so this makes me smile.

Know what else makes me smile? Last week, a family that I babysat for during college 40 years ago reached out to inquire about the best place to buy a copy of Birdie & Mipps. I told her that I’d be happy to send a copy, so that I could sign it for them. Our longstanding and close relationship is one that I treasure, for sure, so I sent priority mail their way, complete with the book and a cardinal ornament. This beautiful text came in on Friday.

Words have power; I am, at once, grateful and humbled by Barb’s kind affirmations. That’s right, she and I share the same name, another way that we are connected. The gift of her friendship and love for four decades way outweighs what she felt was my generosity in sending them a book. A win-win, for sure.

Kindness doesn’t have to be a grand gesture to be great. Share a story. Send a text. Or, like what happened to me this afternoon, pick up the phone and Facetime a former teacher, a neighbor, a Grammy, an old friend. You may not know whether they’re running on empty, but I’ll guarantee that it’ll fill their emotional reserve right up and make them want to return the love in kind.

Kind words are keys that unlock all doors; they’re also a beautiful blanket that warms our world.

As we inch our way toward Thanksgiving 2024, how will you express kindness and gratitude this week? Who has shown empathy, compassion, and kindness toward you?

In Loving Memory

Barbara Gruener

I had a really vivid dream about Mipps a few nights ago, that he came back and wasn’t really dead after all; instead of soaking in and savoring every second with him, I was stressed about how to tell him that we’d given all of his things away, and that he no longer had a job or a place to come home to.I woke up so sad and out of sorts. Then these treasures came in the mail for me.

These hand-crafted, loving reflections from a few of my friends at Howard Elementary’s 4th-grade students are extraordinary in their own right, but extra special to me because of how they are personalized.

In love-ing memory of Mipps … I am so sorry that he died.

These ooze with empathy, which is all about moving from me to WE; don’t we look happy together?

And more empathy: If I lost my mom, I don’t know what I would do. Oh, dear Brooklynn, I hope that you don’t have to find that out for a very long time.

I love it when a random sloth shows up, because it’s what they’re good at drawing right now. It takes me back to when I figured out how to draw Snoopy and then drew that dog over and over again.

And the pop-up cards completely made my day.

Check out the 3-D effect of the pop-up sun and flower; how masterfully this scene parallels a page from Birdie & Mipps, complete with the red cardinal and my Bambi reference from the book:

… but you can call me Flower, if you want to.

On days when you feel out of sorts, find a child, read them a story, then write the author a thank-you note. I strongly suspect that it will put you back on track in no time.

Blessings, dear reader; have a fantastic weekend.

Names Are Important

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful for this quick conversation with John Norlin on the CharacterStrong podcast about Leadership Rule number one: Names are important. What bliss it was to reconnect with him and talk about the importance of names and the respectful and kind use of nicknames.

Toward the end of this episode, John, the co-founder of CS, asked for a reminder for our listeners, so I said, “Empathy gives kindness its why.” We had run out of time to unpack that much further, but in an author visit in WI on Monday, I was able to share with a group of 4th-grade empathy heroes why this glorious virtue is so important.

Before we started our read-aloud, I introduced my son Jacob, who’d be playing the role of Mipps. I asked our listeners which message seemed more meaningful: This is our new student Jacob; please remember to welcome him the Howard Way and be kind to him. OR This is our new friend, Jacob, who is visiting from Texas because his Grandma just died. He’s missing his family, who didn’t get to travel with him for the funeral. Let’s remember to give him a warm welcome, the Howard way, and treat him with kindness.

Before I even finished asking the question, these budding authors were putting up two fingers to signal that the second scenario seemed more meaningful and sustainable. And they were right! When we step into one another’s story to find out why they need our compassion and how they’d like us to show up, then the connection is deeper and the chances of its longer-lasting impact increase.

Before I turned the last page as we finished the story, a boy’s hand shot up to tell me that he’d noticed that every page has a red bird. When I asked the group what that male American cardinal is said to represent, one student guessed that it was there because of the nickname Birdie. Good guess, but it goes deeper than that. It was a girl all the way in back who shared with her friends that it means that someone who has passed away is near. I asked her to repeat that before posing the question, “so whom do you think passed away?” There was a collective gasp when I shared that my brother, Mipps, had died from a heart attack and that authors often use writing as a therapeutic resource, a way to process uncomfortable, big feelings.

Before they went back to class, each learner got to choose their own vintage empaKEY, to help them remember to always treat everybody with empathy, compassion, kindness and respect.

On our way home, we stopped at Green Isle Park to breathe in the beauty of my favorite season.

Then we headed to WayMorr Park, near the family farm. Isn’t Autumn in rural Wisconsin the perfect orange backdrop for Unity day?

We brought back some of these incredible colors for a gardening club at my former elementary school; what joy we had collecting these breathtaking treasures. Oh how I wish I could bottle that scent!

And just like with people, each of these leaves is its only unique, colorful creation, even the ones that come from the same tree.

Happy Fall, dear reader; thank you for continuing to remind our future, the children, about leadership lesson number one, that names matter. Why? Because they help make us … us!

A #DaveBurgessShow Guest

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m excited and grateful to share that Wednesday I had the honor of connecting with the Pirate himself, Dave Burgess, and being a guest on his podcast, the Dave Burgess Show.

For almost a decade, I have been following Dave’s journey on Twitter, from the time his first book, Teach Like A Pirate, went viral until now, when he has published education titles too many to count. My all-time favorite challenge of his over the years is this:

Ten years a fan, so you can imagine how excited I was to connect via Zoom this week to talk about all things Birdie & Mipps, Mr. Quigley’s Keys, and being connectors on social media. After our chat, Dave posted this affirmation on Facebook and Insta:

Sigh. Be still my fan-girl heart.

So, what did we talk about besides my books? Reflection listening! Here’s a peek at my slide deck from that PALs session I got to lead on Tuesday.

At the risk of sounding corny, I’d just come back from harvesting season on the family farm, so yeah, I used two ears of corn to create intrigue.

It was so interesting to hear the teens share their ideas of the difference between the listening and hearing; I love this wisdom from Simon Sinek.

After a few role plays, we talked through these empathy reflections.

They each chose a few little antique keys to remember these key connecting statements.

Have a listen to podcast episode 61 to hEAR how I engaged them in that lesson. Could I have sold tickets to it? Not sure, but I left there with a spring in my step, for sure.

Happy harvesting, dear reader. 🌽🌽

Inspiring School Visits

Barbara Gruener

Happy February; today I’m excited about and grateful for my visit to Howard Elementary in WI last week, to follow-up a virtual visit I’d had with these fourth-grade empathy heroes back on Kindness Day in November.

Mrs. VandeHei invited me back for an in-person visit when I got home, so on the Friday of this year’s Great Kindness Challenge, off I went, to meet them in person. Once there, I found a hand-colored sign Welcome Mrs. Gruener hanging on the shelves in their library; this S donned the keys to connection from Mr. Quigley’s Keys!

I introduced the three classes to my puppet Winthrop as we talked about what empathy is; how can they predict how Winthrop is feeling even though they don’t speak bird? Their answers were intuitive and inspiring.

Then, we looked at what it means to switch places with another, step into their story, and walk in their shoes for a spell. We practiced the Empathy Switch on our hands and paired it with this poem: E-M-P-A-T-H-Y; put yourself in my shoes and I think you will find; E-M-P-A-T-H-Y, you’re a superhero of the empathy KIND, adding the hand-jive movements to jazz it up.

Since I’d already read Mr. Quigley’s Keys to them, this visit lent itself to a debut of my new book, Birdie and Mipps! My sister and I acted it out; my Dad played the cameo role of the narrator.

After we read it aloud, one friend had a question that I wasn’t quite sure how to answer: Does our little brother, Mipps, know that I wrote a book about him? Sigh.

We had empaKEY necklaces for all of them, to remind them that they have the power to unlock doors with their kindness, that they surely hold the key to someone’s heart, that they are KEY to their school’s success. Before I laid my head on the pillow that night, this beautiful gift from one of my new fourth-grade friends seered itself on my heart.

What fun to make it a family affair, to get to share my story with Debra and Dad in tow. I’m so grateful for my continued partnership with this gifted teacher and her fourth-grade team!

Before I headed to WI, I led a workshop in TX; click {here] if you want to see those slides.

Now that I’m back in TX, I’m counting the days until I become a Grammy. Check back here for that exciting announcement in just a few weeks.

It’s EmpaKEY

Barbara Gruener

This morning as I packed for my final visit of 2023, a funny thought occurred to me: What if I changed the word empathy to empaKEY?

And what an incredible day it was. I got to visit with about 700 students at North Pointe Elementary, read them my book and share the quiet echo of Mr. Quigley’s Keys with them. Their librarian, Becky, was an incredible hostess; I’d never have known it was her first author visit in that position had she not told me. Look at the adorable flyer she made.

I even got to sign a couple dozen books and it’s always a gift to run into young people I’ve known since their childhood who are now rockin’ it as passionate educators!

They had vintage keys on a string for all of the kids to take with them, which were a huge hit. It’s so fun for me to see them wearing them around school and hearing them say, “I still have my key!”

I savored every second of blasting off with these Rockets; it was a bit like coming back home since I had the pleasure of being their National Schools of Character site visitor years ago. This NSOC is an incredible place to be and I could feel the fruits of their HEART work as I roamed the halls and shared my story with their superhero students.

I pray this finds you thriving as we head into the most wonderful time of the year. If you are looking for an author visit in 2024, I am scheduling those now. I’m already booked for a return visit to my home state of Wisconsin and I’m so SO eager and blessed.

Huge holiday hugs and heaps of hygge, Barbara

Making People Happy

Barbara Gruener

It’s World Kindness Week and I have been having a blast toggling between substitute teaching and author visits at some local Career Fairs. Lots of time with kids has left my bucket overflowing!

I was excited to be able to showcase the Spanish version of Keys; these students were looking at all of our replica keys and trying to find a match to the keys on our cover.

Everywhere I go, these tiny treasures continue to be the biggest hit. Yesterday, a conversation with a third-grade boy went like this: Do these keys open anything? he asked curiously. Hearts, I reply without skipping a beat. Oh yeah, he nodded knowingly, you did say it was a kindness key.

This young lady wanted to know more about the missing key. You see, she’d read our story with her school counselor and they discussed the key behind Mr. Quigley’s knee in the mural. I explained that it’s up to every reader to decide which trait was on that key, so she told me she thought either heart or respect. I affirmed her choices and told her that I think it might have been compassion or patience and she agreed that those would work, too.

One student wanted to know if I liked my job, so I said yes before turning the tables on him by asking him what he thought the best part of my job was. His answer? Making. People. Happy.

Spot on, little buddy, spot on. Oh, how I love to make people happy. But not just the temporary kind of happiness that might come from eating an ice cream cone. No, that’s lovely and all, but I want to help people feel JOY (one of our keys to connection!) deep down in their souls, to their very core. I do that by lighting up for people, by delighting in their presence, and by getting curious about who they are, what they want or need, what they dream about, what they’re going through. What their sorrows and successes are. Where they’ve been and where they’re going. Not in a fake, glossy sort of way, but wholeheartedly with them, unwrapping the present together. Good or bad, comfortable or uncomfortable. It’s my calling and it’s a gift of epic abundance. It’s the legacy I plan to leave in the people whose paths I’m blessed to cross.

So as we close in on Thanks {and} Giving 2023, my question is this: How do YOU share your joy in such a way that it makes people happy?

Tell us in the comments or drop me a line; I always loving hearing from my readers.

Say “KEYS!”

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful for the many recent opportunities I’ve had to share that empathy, compassion and kindness are KEY; my most recent visit found me coming home to Westwood Elementary, where I was a school counselor for 14 years. Book? Check. Ukulele? Yep! Puppet? Got him. Antique key ring and large kindness key? Ready to unlock the magic.

So I got to lead ten 30-minute sessions and I left there exhausted but exhilarated.

What fun to teach them about empathy, sing with them, read to them and laugh with them as we discovered all about Mr. Quigley and the story of his keys to connection, then leave them with a kindness key and a challenge for them to unlock hearts, their imaginations, the future.

When I posted online that I was putting yarn onto the kindness keys for our preK kiddos, the mom of one of the 5th graders that I subbed for reached out with the kindest offer; she asked if she and her family could sponsor the keys for my next few growth sessions. I sent her a link sharing what I typically purchase and voila, by Friday morning, sweet Cecily was delivering 1K keys for my upcoming visits in this beautiful blue Mustang bag. Be still my beating heart.

Isn’t that the most thoughtful thing? Turns out that we go way back, because I was her brother’s school counselor 8 years ago when her family first came to town. You just never know when a kindness shared will boomerang its way back to you.

Do a kind act; it’ll boomerang back! Give kind, get kind, just like that.

I also got to visit this sweet class virtually in Clifton, TX recently; they had some amazing questions for me as they were digging into author’s purpose, illustrator’s purpose, literary elements, editing and more. I reminded them that an author’s work might have a due date, but it’s actually never done because we can always make it better and I encouraged them to hoard words like a coin collector treasures his/her coins, something my 8th grade teacher taught me that I’ve never forgotten.

Finally, I got to spend some time encouraging and loving on some mentors in a neighboring town, super fun for me because I reconnected with Keri, the teacher whom I actually started my Character Counts! journey with back in the year 2000.

I will always cherish the connection we had and the opportunities that came our way to present the six pillars of charACTer together. She is a spark plug of compassion, joy and hope.

I’ll leave you with this footprint: The writing’s on the wall in the Westwood cafeteria in the shape of a shoe; this visual display just begged me to teach the learners this little ditty about empathy. Try it with a snap, pat, clap rhythm or use the motions to the hand-jive song. Invite them to jazz it up or rock it out to seal the deal on just how important it is that we make walking in someone else’s shoes a daily ritual until it becomes a life-long habit.

Happy November, dear reader.

Something So Magical

Barbara Gruener

What a delightful trip home, to take in some Fall foliage and spend some quality time with family. While there, I was blessed by three opportunities to share my book and make some new friends. The first visit was to these two incredible young learners who are homeschooled.

Their favorite takeaways were the antique key necklaces we made, searching for the camouflaged keys throughout the book, and finding someone in Ms. Pittman’s class that looks like them.

They stole my heart as I got to sign, sing, and search with them. In the end, my second-grade friend even made a treasure map for me, complete with a key, of course, to find a special treasure chest hidden in his garage. Don’t you love extension activities?

Then it was off to Racine, WI, for a vist at both schools where my incredibly thoughtful friend Trish is the amazing school counselor.

Our friend Julia joined us and shared this beautiful reflection later that afternoon.

Look at how heartwarming this is, the Principal at Red Apple Elementary handing out keys to his kids. I love how he let them decide which key fit them.

I feel so blessed to have visited these two beautiful school families and shared our story. It happened to be World Smile Day, so I also got to challenge a few friends to a smile off. It was a fun way for a student to win a signed copy of our book for one of their teachers. Then it was time to head to the family farm, where I captured Autumn in all of its splendor.

We picked up my mom so she could go along on the third author visit.

She really appreciated how beautiful it was outside. The trees were so vibrant and the weather was absolutely perfect for this visit to a parochial grade school like the one I attended during my formative years.

It was extra-special because my invitation came from a 5th-grade student, a nephew of my brother on his wife’s side.

What joy to watch young leaders take the initiative and make something so magical happen.

Happy October, dear reader; I pray many KEY cotton-candy sunsets, like this one that I captured over our family farm, on the horizon for you as we head toward the most wonderful time of the year.

Distracted By A Connection

Barbara Gruener

Today I’m grateful because I got to be a guest teacher on day 3 of school so that my friend Melissa could take her son Jacob off to college without a worry. She asked what read-aloud I’d like to use during Morning Meeting time and I pitched this idea: I would read my book and bring a key for each of her students, to remind them that they hold the key to compassion and kindness, which will unlock doors for them.

But here’s the twist: I decided not to tell them that I was the author. Instead, I shared that if they went to Bales Intermediate last year, then they know the illustrator because she was their art teacher. And, if they were at Windsong, then they know the mom of the illustrator because she was their art teacher. They were SO distracted by that connection that they totally missed who the author was.

One boy did ask how did I read the book without looking at the words? I told him that I’ve read it so much that I totally have it memorized. Ok, maybe he was on to me.

Anyway, if I could bottle the gasp of excitement that I heard when they figured out that Mr. Quigley was a real guy and that I actually knew it … and then that I actually wrote the story? Sigh. Be still my beating heart.

They all got a KEYpsake to either put in their pockets or on a string, to remember our time together.

And then, this beautiful feedback on Facebook.

Am I not just the luckiest author and guest teacher ever? Happy new {school} year!